If I simply say:
"I forgive you for what you did wrong to me ..." at the end I'm not doing a big effort. I do not put myself on the line.
It is true that it is a good and important thing to remove the bitterness off, maybe start again and be nice to someone we treated badly, or kept away from us ... for what he had done to us.
But if we think about it, this mainly concerns us ...
This kind of forgiveness perhaps refers too much to "our" needs, "our" wounded ego or "our" selfishness to overcome ... that find peace and growth in forgiving.
Nothing bad: that's great!
But maybe forgiveness can be an even stronger tool for growth. An even more effective instrument of our forces of love. That find their best field of action if they leave one's inner self and spread around the world to lend a hand to improve it.
If I consider that the "evil" that you did to me was also something that came to me not by chance, but to stimulate me to grow, even if you did not know ... Even if you were only an unaware channel of God's plans ...
If I think like this, namely, that the evil you did to me was actually for my own good, and maybe your bad action - but very good in the opportunities for me - also costsyou pain to get out of it ... Then I think that not only I have to "normalize" the relationship with you, but I even have to be grateful to you.
I have a debt with you.
That I exactly owe you something important.
Because you acted like the villain for my own good. And you don’t know that you will suffer the consequences of having done bad to me.
Then you might see a strong loving impulse to help you. As you have unknowingly helped me.
But I could do it consciously!
If you hurt me it was "because you did not know what you were doing" all the way. Especially you did not know how bad you did to yourself, to your soul ...
And then I could not only give you a change in my attitude in a positive way towards you ... But also do something more. I might do for you what you still can not do all alone.
I could work positively and with love for me and for you ...
I could for-give: donate twice.
The evil you did creates negative consequences for your soul and for your future, and then I will take the load as much as I can. I will try to help healing not only my wound, but also yours.
I look at what you need, with great attention, I observe with greater intensity your weaknesses and try to help you build a better life, more aware, more loving, more constructive.
I don’t forgive you because we are politely on our own, but because I could come in, discreetly but with a loving and operational decision, in what I can do for you!
And our forgiveness, our loving and selfless intervention in the affairs of others can also generate resonances that could cause the bright and dormant side in everyone to wake up, to co-vibrate in the same direction, to grow ...
This applies not only to the evil that we receive from individuals, but also for what comes from still unaware social majorities who support negative politicians, which generate predatory, anti-ecological, anti-social, violent, vulgar behaviors ... And that we hardly forgive in our daily thoughts and feelings.
In relation to these heavy and painful social phenomena, we are not aware of how these behaviors are useful to us as an opportunity for awakening. And we should be seriously grateful to these still dormant majorities...
And then forgive them not only in our hearts, but also take responsibility for what the "dormant” side of the company still can not understand and do.
The virtuous growth of a society in which people for-give is much stronger and faster than that of a culture in which everyone is sitting on his own, even if with his good feelings.
Love is not an "educated" force, but an overwhelming force ... not a feeble inner feeling, but a passion that wants to transform the world.
This is what we need in our own beautiful and difficult epoch: to give love twice, for us and where others still are not able ...
The critical mass of awakening can take over even the majority who still can not do it ... that still does not know ...